How the gladiators must have felt when they were imprisoned in cages during Roman times? It must have been so very hot, hellish for them, of course. They must have sweated a whole lot, and suffered emotionally and physically. To think about the degradation of a society who was literally using humans for their amusement. And yet, even today there’s human trafficking. Again, humans are using other humans for heir own amusement, financial gain, political power etc.
I had been taken advantage of and abused physically and mentally a few times throughout this life time. No. I had not have too many tools to protect or defend myself at the time, especially as a teenager and a young a woman. I hadn’t even have feelings of revenge or anger. I was trying to cover those horrible experiences and move on with my life after the incidents had happened. I was in such a shock that they had happened to me that I couldn’t even find a way to tell my parents about them.
Today, I want to give myself a permission to be angry. I want to give myself a permission to show my true fighter’s colors and not be afraid of or feel guilty of what my anger may create in the other person. I totally want to break free from the cages I’ve been locked in for so many years. In many ways these are cages that we manifest ourselves.
You can have this feeling at any stage of your life. You can feel it at work too. When your boss is repeatedly telling you how a horrible sales person you are, and how lazy you are for not making more phone calls today. You can feel it at home as well. You can feel the feeling of being caged at home with your so-called “loving” family. If one of your family members is debasing you again and again, how do you respond?
And even though I don’t feel comfortable to go through this negative spectrum of feelings, today I know I better acknowledge and express them. I better not deny them and push them to a dark corner. Do you know that you can be in physical pain as well as mental when you feel any of the negative feelings such as anger or sadness? You probably know exactly what happens if you accumulate too many of these negative feelings without at least look at them, and where they are coming from, right? They explode ceremoniously one day, so terrifically in your face at an uninvited occasion. Check them out periodically. Ask yourself the whys.
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