Single Again and the Holidays

Is it at all possible that Andrea is single another year, and the Holidays are here again? Yes! What? Yikes! She is happy to report that she has survived Thanksgiving, but December Holidays are just around the corner, and her anxieties are creeping in precisely like any other year this season. Normally, all is well in the anxieties levels department, but during the Holidays months the barometer is about to explode.

Before any special event she gets uneasy. Andrea needs to prepare herself mentally before going to a holiday gathering to meet her family or friends. She goes over almost all the emotional spectrum in her humble adobe. She goes over all the “what ifs”, what if someone asks her this or that question. How is she going to respond to this or that? What is she going to say? Perhaps there are going to be some questions that she is not ready to answer. She breathes in and out. She paces back and forth. She does some yoga poses to relax her tensed body. She goes over some positive affirmations, such as, “all is well in my life”, “I got this”, and so on. Usually she meditates, finds a calmer and quieter space in her mind and ends up with drinking herbal tea.

A few things Andrea has learned throughout the years regarding the Holidays anxieties, and these are her recommendations:

Love yourself

Accept yourself the way you are

Enjoy the gathering or dinner while it is enjoyable and know when to part

Find some quiet space during the party

Go to the backyard or the patio and look around

Ask the host if you can be of any help

Basically, Holidays and special events supposed to be happy times. The pressure Andrea feels and the anxieties take away the joy out of them. One of her tactics for Holidays events is to invite a friend who doesn’t have a close by family, and would be happy to join her. That way she feels that she is helping him or her. Helping somebody else is very powerful, and it takes off some of the pressure from her.

Before the Holidays gatherings she writes a gratitude list that she prepares ahead of time. It is a gratitude list about all the people she is about to see at the gathering.

Here is a sample:

I am grateful for my sisters for cooking tasty food.

I am grateful for my niece for her loving and warmhearted hugs.

I am grateful for my nephew for answering all my computer questions.

I am grateful for my great niece for her bubbly laughter.

And the list goes on and on. Andrea does it before she sees her family members and friends. She does it before she gets together with her coworkers for the Holiday party. She does it before she meets with anybody, and it can be also part of her meditation.

There is also something Andrea does for herself. Before the Holidays madness starts, she sits down and writes herself a letter. It is a promissory letter for self. In her case she promises herself not to over eat desserts and sugary foods in general, even when overwhelming anxieties are knocking on her door. She also promises herself to make time to take walks or workout during this time. She promises herself to call her grandparents more often, and bypass any excuses. Another person can promise himself or herself to refrain from alcohol, or over buying without any budget in mind. Then after the Holidays she gifts herself for following her policies for the Holidays. This is the time she celebrates her success.