Express Your Anger
You should express your anger. Don’t keep it inside. Right, it is not a positive emotion, but you don’t want to ignore it either. And it is far from being fun when someone is angry around you too. So what do you do? You are taught from a very young age that you should not raise your voice at anybody, especially your elders and superiors, ‘use your inside voice’, but what the hell CAN you do in order to get out of the feeling of anger?!
10 Options to Take:
- Write about what angers you in CAPITAL letters in your journal.
- Paint a canvas with colors that translate anger. Black, Blue, Red, Green etc.
- Take a brisk walk.
- Run very fast.
- Do 20 jumping jacks.
- Clean your house vigorously, and move furniture.
- Close your room and pound your pillow.
- Listen to Metallica, or any heavy metal band.
- Watch an action movie.
- Play the drums.
After all that you will be either exhausted, or relaxed. Either way, you will remove yourself away from the circle of anger. Drink some water and eat something healthy, but mostly drink water.
Now, in case a specific person has caused the anger, and if you still feel the need to talk to this person, after doing any of the above activities you will be ready to talk to that person. Here is the reason why you are ready now: you will gain a better perspective and understanding of why that specific person has angered you in the first place. Plus, now you are more on the level, emotionally, you are more balanced. If you want, now is the time to approach this specific person and tell them about your feeling of anger and why you have been angry. Ask them not to repeat it again firmly. Tell them: “Knock it off!” or “I will not tolerate it anymore!” or “This is not acceptable!” I am not promising you they will listen to you or not repeat it again, but you will feel better. If you don’t want a confrontation with that specific person, write them a letter after you have relaxed, and NOT in capital letters, but still firmly. Mail it.
If you feel that you are not there yet to take the direct approach, either by a conversation or by mailing a letter to the specific person who has angered you, then go ahead and write the letter, but don’t send it. You may keep it as long as you want, or you may burn it, or tear it to pieces and just throw it away in the garbage. That will finish the cycle of action.
By the way, there are cases that you are angry because of a thing, a situation, or a condition. There isn’t a specific person that has angered you. All the above suggestions, they still hold water. They are still helping too.
From my experience, direct approach has helped me with some people. Sometimes, with others, writing a letter and not sending it has helped too. Sometimes you feel this boiling point, this tipping point where you don’t want to take it anymore. That’s when you really want to do something about it right away. And my suggestions above have been working for me. They are healthy and more constructive approach to anger. You are not hurting anybody or anything with this approach. You are not hurting yourself. And to be inside the circle of anger for a long time is risky and dangerous for so many reasons. So for your own sake, get out of the circle of anger.
Just as I’ve thought I finished writing this article another idea has come to my mind. I’ve been having a nice day today. I’ve got a fresh bounty of local organic vegetables, and been driving to the next town, just to get a little bit more space. The weather has been very nice. No reason to be angry, right? And as I enter my room, a thought comes to me which makes me feel angry. Boom! Just like that, I am finding myself in the circle of anger. This time I’ve caught it on time. I’ve decided consciously not to get into this trap, because it is only a trap. I’ve reminded myself that this thought is an old tape, it belongs to the past. And then something very nice has followed – a feeling of relief. I’m smiling again.
Toy with all these suggestions and ideas that I’m rolling towards you. See how one of them works or doesn’t work for you. Find out for yourself how you can get out of the circle of anger. Perhaps you’ll discover a new idea. If you would like, share it with me. I will be glad to hear from you.
Have fun with it!
P.S. – Another thought, it goes without saying that when I am in close proximity of a person who is expressing their anger and perhaps raising their voice, certainly it is not comfortable, it feels like suddenly something is breaking.
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